On reefer madness

I smoked pot once and went from asshole to social justice warrior over the course of 5 minutes. Now I’m here to explain to children that if smoking pot can do this to me imagine what it will do to you. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy my story.

I was a straight A student and a natural athlete in high school. Pick a sport or subject and chances are I excelled without effort. One day I was at a party with friends to celebrate the end of finals. Someone pulled out a marijuana cigarette and it started getting passed around. Finally it was my turn and I took a couple puffs before passing to the next guy.

After a few minutes I started to feel funny and constantly wanted to check my friends’ male privilege. Feeling scared I asked someone to help me find a place to lie down.

I awoke the next morning and, instead of doing my usual morning workout, went to vote early for AOC. Now this was out of character for me because I was a registered republican at the time, but for some reason what she was saying just started to make sense. Once I was done voting I decided to go volunteer at the local soup kitchen.

After 3 weeks my parents began to get worried and thought I had a drug habit because I was constantly asking for money. What they didn’t realize was I wasn’t buying drugs, but instead buying food for the local food pantry.

One morning my father woke me up by violently tossing my room looking for drugs. He’s screaming as he’s looking telling me that I better tell him what I’ve been using and where I hid it. Finally, in tears I tell him the truth.

My father was devastated and ended up shipping me off to military school. While I was there I got the help I needed and graduated top of my class. Afterwards I went to officer training at West Point and am pursuing a career in the military.

Marijuana almost ruined my life and it can ruin yours if you aren’t careful. Please don’t make the same mistake I did.

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