On lights

I grew up in a cult that had some uber weird religious rules which meant that I’ve never seen myself or any other person naked.

Oddly enough sex is allowed but you aren’t allowed to see each other’s body. Some in our church would fuck in total darkness while others would wear masks over their eyes. The most inventive couple had their optic nerve severed.

This would create situations where, while trying to maneuver, I’d hear “wrong hole!” shouted multiple times due to my terrible sense of location. Sadly anal is highly frowned upon even though that is an easier target to find.

My best friend ended up just saying fuck it and sticking to the trusty 69 position. He did tell me that he nearly lost his dork once when his partner sneezed. Apparently dick stitches are extremely uncomfortable.

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