On assisted suicide

When I was a senior in high school there was this girl that I would chill with after school. One night her father came home after work and pulled me aside to tell me that I better not even think about dating his daughter. Not being in a good place at the time, I told him that I was just planning on fucking her until she couldn’t walk straight before telling her she meant nothing to me. It is amazing how when death is staring you in the face you finally decide you want to live. The girl and I are married now, but to this day she still has no idea why her father hates me.

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