I always wanted to be a basketball player, but unfortunately I was too short and being white couldn’t jump. One day, while high as a fucking kite, I decided that I was going to make my dream come true. I got my fathers chainsaw from the garage, called 911, and proceeded to cut my legs off. When I, still high as fuck, asked the surgeon if they could give me extra long prosthetics he told me that I was the most fucking retarded 20 year old he’s ever met. I never did get my legs, but in the end it doesn’t matter because now, with my short legs, my dick looks freakishly huge.