On no context

Hey 🥺👉👈 any cute girls wanna go to Oregon with me? 🙈

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On bath salts

I’m hoping bath salts make a comeback this year so someone will eat my face.

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On crust

Did anyone else’s GTA Vice City disk develop a weird crust on the top over time?

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On leering

Listen I’m not staring at your tits, I’m leering at your heart.

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On Election 2020

Brexit is the only thing longer than this election.

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On no context

“I’ve been wanting a clit piercing too, but I need to schedule a penis reduction surgery first.”

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On suicide hoodies

Imagine having to rush over to your girls house before the suicide because she stole your suicide hoodie.

And that’s why they only make suicide vests.

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On tinder

I signed up for tinder because I didn’t want to spend money on heating my apartment this winter. Unfortunately I’ve only matched with my left hand.

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On my first period

Getting your period for the first time is a terrifying experience.

Even more so when you’re a 29 year old man and the cramps feel a lot like the time you had the clap.

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