I was so excited that I was getting the Johnson & Johnson vaccine until I realized that I was getting vaccinated for feline AIDS and not COVID.
On Ring Pops
Today I found out that a Ring Pop can be used as a butt plug in an emergency situation where a real butt plug is not readily available.
On Futurama
Like Futurama, I’m back. I’d hype the book but everyone knows that I’m not going to finish it.
On Prince Philip
I was shocked to find out that Prince Philip was related to Queen Elizabeth before they got married.
I guess Alabama isn’t as backwards as I thought.
On the penis game
Seeing who can clear their throat the loudest is basically the adult version of the penis game.
On not getting COVID
I didn’t get COVID for the same reason I never got herpes.
On perspective
You ever notice how much bigger your dick looks in the mirror and then you look down and realize you’re still white?
On Rick and Morty
This turned into work.
On Pornhub
Just when we thought things couldn’t get crazier and Pornhub starts deleting porn.
On bigfoot
This one time I was camping and people thought I was a manscaped bigfoot.