On Tom Cruise

The stool is the real star of the movies Tom Cruise is in.

Posted on

On getting vaccinated

I was so excited that I was getting the Johnson & Johnson vaccine until I realized that I was getting vaccinated for feline AIDS and not COVID.

Posted on

On Ring Pops

Today I found out that a Ring Pop can be used as a butt plug in an emergency situation where a real butt plug is not readily available.

Posted on

On Futurama

Like Futurama, I’m back. I’d hype the book but everyone knows that I’m not going to finish it.

Posted on

On Prince Philip

I was shocked to find out that Prince Philip was related to Queen Elizabeth before they got married.

I guess Alabama isn’t as backwards as I thought.

Posted on

On the penis game

Seeing who can clear their throat the loudest is basically the adult version of the penis game.

Posted on

On not getting COVID

I didn’t get COVID for the same reason I never got herpes.

Posted on

On perspective

You ever notice how much bigger your dick looks in the mirror and then you look down and realize you’re still white?

Posted on